The walk 🥾
As I walk down the Appalachian Trail, I feel the trees hugging me, embracing me, as myself, wherever I am, however I am. The feeling of the uncertainty of belonging was doused a bit as the wind began whistling through the trees. The marching of the feet help stomp my feet into the ground that is always present, waiting to support, wherever, however. Voices in my mind assemble into collection of band members around me, but this time they only listen to the rhythm of the heart, the synchronized stomping of my feet, and the breath that slowly creates a symphony of sounds that don’t have any language.
The unison of the breathing sound, stomping of my feet, and the heart beat feels like the difficulties of living a life have eroded into a mystical and a non-existing dream. I use the word mystical and non-existing very carefully as my mind debates the portrayal of using backpacking as form of escapism. But it is not even remotely that. It’s a pilgrimage that I can take to the beginning of human kind and develop a tiny bit of gratitude towards life when nothing sems to be gratifying. And all this can be done within 2 hours of where I live, almost in any part of the world.
The gratefulness during the walk 🏕️
I made a tiny list of things that I feel grateful for when I am during the backpacking trip:
- A moment, a blink in the timeline of life, amongst trees that hug my existence
- The voices of aloneness that go out with the breath, with the walk, creating a rhythm of some unknown language
- A deliberate fire at night, made from patient carving of twigs with my knife. Making tiny strands of organic matter
- The fellow travelers I meet around the campfire, and the stories of their passing.
- The stories that we can tell ourselves and others, and a chance to rephrase those. One step at a time
- The feeling of safety inside a net at night, even when a squirrel skittles across in the middle of the night making it feel like a predator
- A water stream that cleanses
- Many more things…
The gratefulness after the walk 🏙️
And tiny things that I feel grateful for when I come back from the walk in the woods:
- The tenderness that settles in the body, slowing down the chaotic rush of the modern world
- The cocoon on top of the wheels of technology that brings me closer to the woods
- The Indian food (has to be Indian) that I go for for my first meal after backpacking
- New things I learned about myself on this journey and ways to change, optimize for future
- A warm shower that removes the filth from days of not showering (if it hadn’t rained)
- The shelter of a modern house
- The bed where I can crash on and peacefully lay for the night
There are also many things I don’t feel grateful for, or don’t feel comfortable with. But by the time they catch up with my body and put me into a scattered mindset, I plan another backpacking trip and the cycle continues. Sometimes the time between two pilgrimage trips is longer than I would like, but we humans are best at compromising some desires and dreams.